I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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