Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
