Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
