if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
