I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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