The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I would ride that face into the sunset
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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