nut hugger
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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