it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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