bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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