His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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