you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This house was built for laser tag.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
