This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
