I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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