OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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