I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
