His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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