it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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