were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So vagazzling was a success
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
