she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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