Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize