Umm I'm too high to move.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize