Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
