I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
