I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
