i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
