Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
