Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
