You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
