Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
