Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
