if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I need to wash the frat house off of me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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