yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This is the high leading the old right now
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
