The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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