therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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