I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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