I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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