this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize