How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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