Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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