what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
