no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The air taste purple.
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