We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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