Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
