Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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