we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
