I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
