Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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