You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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