You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
