she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
