For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Rumble strips road head = magical
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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