I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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