Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
