I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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