Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm passing your future prison.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
